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Is Divorce the Best Solution for You?
Divorce is rarely an easy decision, nor is it one that should be made lightly. It is important to determine when divorce is the solution to your marital problems. Of course, it is advisable to first seek other methods of reconciliation, including marriage counseling. Yet, even with such efforts, divorce may be inevitable.
When Divorce Seems Inevitable
For many, divorce is the inevitable conclusion to their marriage. In the U.S. alone, nearly half of marriages end in divorce, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention's National Center for Health Statistics.
Divorce can be a difficult and stressful time for both spouses. That is why it is important for both spouses to consider individual counseling to help cope with the pain associated with the loss of the marriage. However, if you believe the marriage is salvageable, seeking out a marriage counselor may be a good way to avoid divorce. Visit the American Psychological Association's website about marriage and divorce for more information about therapy and counseling resources.
If you and your spouse have children, it is important to convey to them the presence of the impending divorce and to explain to them the changes that might result because of this. HelpGuide.org, a non-profit dedicated to helping individuals with life's challenges, provides resources on how to explain divorce and separation to your children.
When divorce is the solution, it is important to not only take care of yourself and your family, but to take care of the logistics of the divorce. This includes hiring a divorce lawyer and gathering relevant financial information, including tax returns and investment documents.
When Divorce Is the Solution
Determining when divorce is the solution to your rocky marriage is difficult. Here is some information to help you determine whether your relationship is salvageable.
- Both partners are unwilling to change to accommodate each other. People change throughout the course of their lives, and if a partner is not willing to adapt or accept these changes, it might be best to consider divorce.
- One or both partners continually shames the other over past transgressions. Marriage is about acceptance and forgiveness. Nobody is perfect, and if your partner tries to enforce impossible standards, divorce may be the best solution.
- Both partners are unwilling to accept responsibility over the relationship, including both its negative and positive aspects. A marriage is between two people, both of whom should have equal control and say over the relationship. If this is not the case, this is when divorce is the solution.
- One or both partners is abusive to him or herself, one another or the children. In such instances, divorce is likely the best solution.
- One or both partners no longer wish to be in the marriage. This sounds simple enough, yet many people try to maintain a marriage out of a false sense of responsibility. If you do not wish to save a marriage, then divorce may be the best solution.
If you are contemplating filing for divorce, look at a divorce checklist. It will help you organize important information relevant to your divorce proceedings. This includes information pertaining to your finances and other information that your divorce attorney will need to assist you in your proceedings.